the claims I have made in this essay are none of my business
subject: my cat
symptoms:
- small
- makes small noises
- small brain (stupid)
diagnosis: baby
course of action: kiss on the head
am a big fan of the relationship dynamic that is "scary powerful lady falls in love with total himbo because he's too dumb to be intimidated by her but drinks enough respect women juice on the regular to be very impressed by and genuinely supportive of everything she does"
me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!
customer walks up
me: sue?
customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni
me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ....... sue?
customer: oh! no i’m (name)!
the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?
me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it
‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry
sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey
Its about time to move on from this Minecraft town so it’s time to say goodbye to
What’s under the train station / zombie driving school
But not just under the train station / zombie driving school. But in the basement.
But not just in the basement
But in the sub-basement
But below the sub-basement
Is the sub-sub-basement.
And under the sub-sub-basement
Is the underwater tunnel. A dangerous dark underwater tunnel that requires most of your health to get through. After the underwater tunnel you have to go through
The sub-sub-sub-basement. Which leads to
The second underwater tunnel. Which leads to
The door
But behind The Door…
Is Jeff
I saw a post that said “it isn’t my responsibility to rebuild a bond that i didn’t break” and damn I felt that
prozc