the claims I have made in this essay are none of my business
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subject: my cat
symptoms:
- small
- makes small noises
- small brain (stupid)
diagnosis: baby
course of action: kiss on the head
am a big fan of the relationship dynamic that is "scary powerful lady falls in love with total himbo because he's too dumb to be intimidated by her but drinks enough respect women juice on the regular to be very impressed by and genuinely supportive of everything she does"
me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!
customer walks up
me: sue?
customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni
me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ....... sue?
customer: oh! no i’m (name)!
the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?
me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it
‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry
sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey
I saw a post that said “it isn’t my responsibility to rebuild a bond that i didn’t break” and damn I felt that
let’s abolish all clocks, the concept of time itself. live by sunlight. primal instincts and internal clocks ONLY
when is the next bus getting here? its a surprise :)
That’s no different from how buses already operate (:
prozc